Look, we get it. The BMW Alpina B7 is a marvelous car. It has unique badging. It goes like stink on a greyhound fleeing an encounter with a trigger-happy skunk, and it wafts along in a manner that might just make its very distant cousin, the Rolls-Royce Ghost, a tad jealous. But the Buchloe-massaged 7 only has eight cylinders, and eight simply won’t do. Plus, you’ve been a sucker for the M badge since the Bavarians went in with Sant’Agata on a mid-engined M1 wonder back in the ’70s. You, our well-heeled pal, have been salivating since BMW announced the M760i xDrive.
Offering up a claimed zero-to-60-mph time of 3.6 seconds, and 590 lb-ft of torque at 1500 rpm, the 601-hp twin-turbo 12-cylinder 7 is serious business for serious businessmen. $154,795 is the number you need to know if you’re planning to march in to the dealership tomorrow and plonk down a Zero Halliburton case full of bills.
That’s a load of coin, but it’s still significantly less money than a Maybach-ified Mercedes S600—which carries an AMG-built twin-turbo twelve up front and wears a $193,925 price tag—or the full-Moers Mercedes-AMG S65 sedan, which rings in at $229,525. It’s even less money than the $173,375 non-Maybach S600. In the rarefied clique of twelve-pot megasedans, the segment’s first M Performance model turns out to be the legitimate bargain of the bunch. Prost!